Duster Fedora

"The Captain"

Haunting. Like something right out of a Paul McCarthy installation.

BOX TRUCK Euro Edition

Finally, a fucking European box truck! Weird! Why do you guys have that little door so close to the back of the bed? Whats with that archaic liftgate? Those are really fucking small wheels! Does that foil actually improve your aerodynamics? Because the speed limits here are slow as shit! You know you can buy an environmentally friendly graffiti remover, right? You need a cow pusher. Damn those are small wheels. You guys should visit New York and take notes. I just figured out why that door is at the back of the bed: its because of the archaic liftgate, right? You need to replace that thing. You don't even have a step-up installed to make hopping into the door easier. You need to visit New York.

The So-Called "Hobo Deli"

Dude is like "This hot dog is gonna suck. No bun or nuthin."

Weird One

Guiding Light

The midtown hustlefuck will drive you flat-out berserk until you spy a highly prized truck parking sign. That's your cue to tell some rich ding-bat in a white 2010 Beamer to shove the fuck off out of your parking spot with a thumb jerk and a toot of the horn. The rich can keep their penthouses...the working class owns the streets, bitch.

Real Urban Cowboy

This cowboy was spotted talking up some ladies in East New York last week. He was doing his rounds not far from Cedar Lane Stables, home of the Federation of Black Cowboys on Linden Blvd. Should have asked him for his cowboy moniker. Surely, a legend.